She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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