i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
