can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize