I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
