I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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