You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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