The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
