It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
