Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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