white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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