FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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