i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
