found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
