Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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