Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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