I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
