My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
