god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
