Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
