I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
