You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
