Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
