it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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