and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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