The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
