Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
