Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
