The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
