Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
