i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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