Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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