I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
