I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
