Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
