Your face is a jimmy john
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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