for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
