I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
