He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
