The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
