And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
