i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
