Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize