I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
