how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
