It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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