I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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