I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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