Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
