i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
