And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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